the best me...

2011-10-04T07:48:00.000-04:00

I'm just about done my scrap space in my new house.. things are almost all organized.. been working hard at it...
I can't wait to get back to my craft that I have missed so much..
Lots to document,
Lots of stories to tell..

Looking forward to sharing a few layouts soon...

I've also been busy over here...

2011-07-26T07:50:00.000-04:00

wow... march 23rd was the last time I blogged...said anything really...
so much has happened and so much has changed in my life...
I'll spare you all the crazy details...
but to clarify a few things....
**not sure who started the rumours that I sold ALL my scrapbooking stuff, but the things I go rid of.. well let's just say it didn't even scratch the surface..

** yes we moved...downsized...yes my scrap space is now in the furnace room...LOL

**rob and I are still together

**my son has graduated from highschool...drives on his own now, almost 18 and apparently likes beer...*sigh*

** my daughter will be attending a class for the deaf and hard of hearing in the fall..and just turned 6 last week...

**I haven't really put a bathing suit on in YEARS.. but have swam almost every day for the past few weeks...and I have a really great tan!!!

**I have yet to scrap in my new house, mind you I did attend a Donna Downey event in June...I *heart* Donna D.

**booked a trip to NYC with my girlfriends from church...yay!

**I have learned to let things go, start again and not worry about what anyone says about me...

**I AM learning to listen to my fragile body and slow down when I need to...

** oh and 1 last thing, I got 2 tattoos on the same day at the beginning of July... love them.. and might do it again!!!!

I haven't posted in a while, because I thought.. I'm boring...I have nothing important or worthwhile saying...I was bored with my own blog...LOL

I'm posting today because I had a really great day yesterday with an old friend, that I frankly don't see enough of, and the question came up in conversation, a few times actually, about living life and "bucket lists"...
I was told a story about a woman who was 55 and just made this list and was determined to complete it in her 55th year and she did it all.. lived life, didn't just make the list, but actually went out and did it...and inspired people to just LIVE...LIVE life and not watch everyone else LIVE it ...

I think many of us have great intentions, but making that list and DOING the things on that list are two totally different things...
I thought a lot about it on my drive home last night..
Dreamt about it last night...
I had a dream I jumped out of a plane...and probably because I just watched a video of someone I know do it.. and it's been on my bucket list...and yesterday I was told to just go and "do it"...

I turned 40 in January...I had always said that I was going to be fit and fabulous at 40...turns out, I didn't achieve that goal BY 40...but It's only July and if I can keep my ass out of the hospital with iv's and insulin and emergency rides for the rest of the year, then that is my goal...it means I have managed to keep my blood sugar manageable and that in itself would be a vast improvement over the past year.

I was asked yesterday what was on my "bucket list"..
it had been a while since I had thought about it..
but I looked it up this morning, and found the things I wrote years ago that I had always wanted to do...

> get a tattoo at 40...check x2
>skydive
>run in a race...I didn't specify the length...lol... let's go with 5 kms...but I did write that I had to run the entire race.
>write a book... I started and have a great start....but I lost my mojo...a must complete list item!!
>travel to Europe..Spain specifically...
>go on a motorcycle vacation
>go to Vegas with my girlfriends...I didn't even specify which girlfriends...that's all I wrote..
>see Canada...travel the Rocky Mountains on the Rocky Mountaneer Train, Calgary Stampede, West Edmonton Mall, eat PEI potatoes IN PEI...
>see Alaska in the winter
>learn to play the guitar..(not sure when or why I wrote that.. but it's there)
>go on a good will mission

well that's a just a few things I have on my list...but it's time to start crossing things off of it...
it's time to start looking forward to tomorrow and the adventures I will take and making the most out of every minute...

life is too short....too many close calls.. I'm running out of chances..it's time to start living now...

what's on your bucket list?
D.

2011-03-23T10:14:00.000-04:00

so i sent out quite a few packages yesterday.
the cheapest delivery charge was a small package to NB and it was 11.48.
so anyone interested in delivery or shipping.. it's crazy the costs...
but i am happy to do it...
i have a lot more stuff to put out but working nights and organizing this stuff has taken it's toll and i'm tired...
i work tonight and tomorrow but will be back on the weekend with more.

any locals want to come over and see? you are more than welcome.

any teacher out there who wants magazines for your students to cut up...then i have a bunch i can donate.

I also have lots and lots of patterened paper... older stuff.. not crazy old but a year or 2... maybe 3...lol...
and i have storage containers... they hold pp and cs and others are totes and bags..

so be on the look-out for those.

i will post on the weekend and leave it up for a few days, because kijiji is really cool too and i have been successful there too!

so thanks everyone...

and the most asked question i get is.."are you quitting scrapbooking?"

absolutely not.. no way.. love it... love the people and the friends and the comeraderie of it all too much.. and i just love doing it!

i have plenty... more than plenty.... i should even get rid of more stuff...LOL
but .. baby steps, right?

k.. heading to bed before my shift starts!
cheers!
d.

2011-03-18T11:01:00.002-04:00

ok.. more stuff...
*****just a reminder**** i am not a company and i don't have good shipping rates... whatever they tell me at the post office, that's what it is... so I can't guarantee any kind of rates and if you are buying bigger things, then you need bigger boxes!!!
if you are local.. then come on down... come take a look...as i go through things and pack stuff up, i am putting stuff out on my tables and they are available for sale!!!!
(ask my friend Holly.. she came over for a clip it up.. and well... she needed a few trips to the car.. LOL)
Lots and lots of stuff...
if i haven't looked at it in a year, then i have no idea it's there... that's my short term memory thing....LOL.

ok.. more stuff...
i had 13 of these glass jars stuffed with ribbon...SOLD!!!!!!!!

so i sorted them all out and i filled a giant ziplock to get rid of.. looks like this..SOLD!!!

(i only kept my absolute favorites .. approx 25% of it.. i know.. crazy eh?)

there is everything in there from all designer brands to lace and pearls and felt and velvet... sheer...

so much stuff...

here are some close ups..ALL SOLD!!!!!

so i am looking for 20.00 for this bag... it is seriously packed full...SOLD!!!

ok how about some MAYA ROAD?

mini stars

snowflakes-SOLD!!!!!!

coaster chipboard books

scrolls! SOLD!!!!!!!!!

arrows!

crowns!! SOLD!!!!!!!!

and sheer alphas!!!

most of the maya road stuff has never even been opened!

ok.. now i have these little mini tins.. super cute...they'd be even cuter if i got rid of some of them...

so i have 4 for sale!- SOLD!!!!!!!!!

some misc metal stuff!!!- SOLD!!!!!!!

and some TIM! metal stuff! SOLD!!!

hang on.. more TIM!

ok what else.....oh!!!! giant chipboard.

remember those 12 x 12 packages of fancy pants chipboard...

ok here...

the tags are off them but there are 3 pkgs of it... scrolls, one with love and time as the theme and the other with flowers/girly

more 12 x12 chipboard, never opened or used...2 pkgs.

Acrylic fancy pants.. 12 x12

this one did not have a tag, and it's hard to show in pics~

and i think i am going to add one more huge bag of misc goodies!!!

i've taken pics of what is inside (for the most part... and there are a few extra added things in there)

ALL ITEMS LISTED IN THIS BAG ARE SOLD!!!!!!!(BELOW)

transperancy film strip, BG magnetic snaps, metal edging, "be original" dog tag SOLD!

american crafts embelishments SOLD!

making memories chipboard pieces SOLD!

heidi swapp clock faces.. 3 colours! SOLD!

heidi swapp mini ghost variety pack..and sheer clock faces! SOLD!

more sheer heidi swapp xl flowers SOLD!!

heidi swapp sheer alphas...2 kinds.. i can't confirm what letters are missing...SOLD!!!

daisy d's metal badges SOLD!!!

a little melissa frances SOLD!!!

chipboard tags.. 2 pkgs! SOLD!!!!

prima vintage felt stuff! SOLD!!!

xl acrylic pieces! SOLD!!!

transperancies- all fancy pants and MME! SOLD!!!!

and here is the bag all packed up!!! SOLD!!!!!!!!!

i have another bag.. it has 12 pkgs- never used- never opened felt trim!!

I also have some K&CO glitter fun!

and more Heidi swapp...giant 12 " clock and glossy tags!

ok that's all for today.. i am off to get ready for work!!!!!

dorrie.saya@gmail.com for any questions or offers!

have a great day!

2011-03-17T22:14:00.003-04:00

What a couple of days this has been...
My scrap space is clearing out...
Crop N Style XL tote now SOLD!!!
***anyone who asked me to ship your stuff- I WILL BE SHIPPING IT ON MONDAY... so I will let you know the cost at that time!!!*****

OK... i went downstairs tonight and started working on some of the shelving and clearing stuff out...
and here are a few other things i am getting rid of!!!

***please note that i am selling everything first and then donating to charity afterwards if it doesn't sell****

container and all the contents...here are close ups of what's inside!

Here is a second ribbon container... and all it's contents!

This is a photo holder...container only!!!

(inclusive are all the little photo boxes inside)

A few tools...

eyelet setter...(never used.. i read the instructions and thought...i have 3 of these..lol)

Tag curler (never used... not sure what i would use it for)

dryer...very loved... and yes it has my name on it.. it may even have a little glimmer mist in a few spots.. works awesome... i always bring it with me everywhere... i just another one.. so i don't need two...

(you know you want it.. )

ok how about a tote...PINK!!! this was my pride and joy... till i ended up with multiples of them...

OK... if you have clip it ups and need more clips.. here are 4 bags of clips and the little divider thingys... SOLD!!

OK so I opened a drawer up and this bag of Making Memories stuff was in it...

i have not opened the bag.. i just took a few pics of it, and here you go...

best offer gets it..

i guarantee that some of the things have been used.. but only bits of it...

I just think these are hysterical!!! had to have them... never even opened them up!

how about a giant bag of flowers!!! seriously!!! any flowers i found laying around.. in the bag!!!! SOLD!!!

here a few pics of some of the things in there...ALL OF WHICH ARE SOLD!!!!

(and all the contents from these 4 jars!) SOLD!!!

K I'll post more in the morning!!!

i have a huge bag of all kinds of heidi swapp stuff and misc items

i have lots of maya road stuff.. never opened...

i have lots of giant chipboard and acrylic stuff...

and ribbon... i am trying to go through my ribbon... it is a lengthy ordeal...so that is coming too...

(I work nights all weekend 2pm-2am fri, sat and sunday... send me an email at dorrie.saya@gmail.com with your offers and i will answer you as fast as i can)

FIRST COME FIRST SERVE!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks again everyone!!!!

2011-03-16T14:33:00.001-04:00

ok so clip it ups are gone...
the giant box of alphas and paper are gone...
MM trimmer - GONE!

tonight i will sort through my ribbon and embellies and take some pics.. i have been very busy and stuff is leaving the house faster than i can post it!
(which is a great thing!)

can't thank everyone enough!!!!!!
feels great to let it go!

2011-03-15T18:15:00.000-04:00

***i was going to post bling /iron ons and fabric stuff and mini albums just now, but someone just came over and bought it all....*****
so next on my list is storage and paper...
i have a huge XL tote, lots of storage stuff..
ribbon .. oh so much ribbon...
lots of embellies and a box (huge box of alphas)...
so I will post more tomorrow...

thank you so much everyone for all your support!!!.... and for getting this stuff out of my house!
D.

2011-03-14T23:11:00.005-04:00

******ALL STAMPS ARE SOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!*****

****all clip it ups are sold ****

ok... here are a few odds and ends, and then lots of stamps...

i will number everything and if you are interested, send me an email and make me an offer with the numbers...

****any offer... what ever i don't sell I am giving to the boys and girls club*****

1. TIm Holtz compedium SOLD

2. donna downey atc fabric kit SOLD

3. Stampin Up Bugs SOLD

4. Stampin Up All ABout U SOLD

5. Stampin up- never used

6.Stampin Up - never even assembled

7. Misc wood stamp sets

8. Foam stamps

9. Flourish - Heather's Stamping Haven

10. Wooden flowers- Michaels

11. Autumn Leaves 3 sets of flowers and flourishes SOLD

12. 4x6 wood stamps

13. set of 3 asian inspired

14.Misc wood stamps butterfly stamp -SOLD

15. Little Yellow Bicycle stamp set SOLD

16. Acrylic flourishes

17. Autumn Leaves Freestyle alphabet

18. foam stamp Dressforms SOLD

19. 6 sets of Technique Tuesday

20. 3 sets of YSE and M (4")

21. 4 sets of Just Cre8

22. Stampology Christmas

23. Studio G - 3 sets alpha /numeric

24. Daisy Buckey Petite stamps

25. CLing mount flower stamp SOLD

26. Sass song writters

27. Fancy Pants- Daily Grind

28. Misc Michaels SOLD

29. 7 gypsies - never opened

30. 12 x 12 Tattered Sea side SOLD

31. 12x12 Tattered love notes

32. 12 x 12 Tattered stamps SOLD

ok that's all i will post for now..

email me at dorrie.saya@gmail.com

tomorrow will be bling and mini albums and paper.....

2011-03-14T09:56:00.007-04:00

woowee!!
the emails and coming now..

update as of 9:45 am March 14/2011

SOLD ITEMS
ALL GLIMMER MISTS AND CHALK MISTS ARE SOLD......
6 book cases
cricut
jasmine cartrige
forever young cartrige
donna downey canvas album
1- 2 tier clip it up...

Here is the list of Glimmer Mist...

Never Used/Never opened
sea glass
flower power SOLD
delphinium
sweet clover SOLD
caramel apple
electric blue SOLD
cherry limeade
silver sugar SOLD
coral reef
fall breeze
choc. cov. cherries SOLD
waterslide
peppermint stick SOLD
dew drop
viva pink
oriental poppy
hula hoop SOLD
tutti fruitti SOLD
black magic SOLD
cherub pink
riptide SOLD
slate SOLD
vintage pink SOLD
raven
frost SOLD
candlelight SOLD
glacier SOLD
burnt red SOLD
spring rain
hydrangea SOLD
cinder
graphite
lemongrass SOLD
sand
moonlight
frozen lake
carribean blue SOLD
wheatfields

Slightly Used
brick SOLD
pashmina SOLD
honey dew mist SOLD
lemon meringueSOLD
pine cone
popsicle SOLD
marshmallow SOLD
coffee shop SOLD

*******ALL NEW/UNUSED MISTS ARE 3.00 EACH OR 2 FOR 5.00***************
******USED 2.00 EACH OR 2 FOR 3.00*************

Chalkboard Mist
Never Used
charcoal SOLD
banana pudding SOLD
hot chocolate SOLD
cornflower SOLD
concord SOLD

SLightly Used
chalk
evergreen
strawberry shortcake SOLD
peacock SOLD
mint choc. chip SOLD

**********same pricing as glimmer mists!******************

email dorrie.saya@gmail.com

if i don't answer you right away, i work nights tonight .. from 2pm to 2am... so i will reply to everyone as sson as i can..
first come first serve!!!!!

2011-03-14T06:44:00.001-04:00

FOR SALE!!!!!!!!!!

everything is for sale these days...

these past couple of months have brought a lot of change...
changes at home...
changes at work...

at work...i successfully became a member of the training/Mentor team...i have worked hard over the past 7 years to get this spot, and almost blew my interview... or rather did blow my interview...lol...
but with support of upper management and scoring well on the written tests, i managed to squeeze in there..LOL

so with that change, brings about schedule changes... my night shifts are no longer 19:00 to 0700... i now work 1400 to 02:00... which I LOVE.. I actually start my first rotation tonight... sunday is my short night shift and I worl 15:00-23:00... SWEET!!!!!!!!!!
i think this will be much better for my body and sleeping....so i am excited about that!!!

and the big news is that we have decided to sell our house and downsize!
and we did that.. in 1 day!
I called an agent on a Thursday March 3rd and she came by to see us. She told me what she thought and I was shocked... no seriously.. shocked at the number we could sell for....($$) and then gave us the weekend to make a few changes, do a few touch ups and get rid of any clutter.... (and as a side note, she didn't think we could do it on time for Tuesday!)....
well she came by on Tuesday March 8th and the sign went up....pictures of the house were taken....
And by Wednesday the 9th, 4 showings had occured.... 3 had offers and made $10,000 OVER asking price!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All conditions were met and the sold sign is now on the front of the house...
we are so excited... close date is April 15th!

During that perios of time lots of other things happened to our family and I was looking for a townhouse alone with Grace... and I did find one.. out in Riverside South... which is a gorgeous and new area of town...
I found a 3 bedroom 3.5 bathroom open concept end townhouse with a finished basement....
so i jumped on it right away and finished signing those contracts last week!.. and the close date is April the 1st...

but things have changed again... and in retrospect....for the better...
Riley will be staying with his dad during the week because it is closer to his school and easier to finish his last year of highschool....and Katelyn the nanny has decided to move out... even though for weeks she insisted she wasn't moving out, i knew... i was ready... 21 years old and a boyfriend for 4 months.. i knew...

and the best part of course is that Rob will be coming with us as well... and i am happy about that! (but he has no idea what the house looks like yet... LOL)

so now.. i hve a lot of work to do to get ready to move in a month...

we are selling most of the funriture in the house and have already purchased 2 flat screen tv's and found a new kitchen table and couch we love.. and a new bed for Grace... so .. everything will be new!!!!!!

My scrap room is huge here.. lots of space to spread out... but in my new house, i don't have that luxury...

i have decided to sell at least 50% of my scrap stuff...

so if anyone reading this is interested...i will post a few pics mow about the general idea of what is going, and then specific pics tomorrow or wednesday... if you want anything.... email me ..

dorrie.saya@gmail.com and i would prefer if you come pick it up, otherwise, whatever Canada post charges is what delivery would be....i'm practically giving the stuff away, so i can't take the hit on delivery as well...

books and mags... lots and lots of magazines!!!

CLIP-IT-UPS!!!!!!!!!!

i have 3 of these babies and tons of clips on each one...

these retail lower tier 65.00 and upper 35.00)

30.00 gets you both... and 20.00 gets you the lower only!

HAD to have this when it came out.. used it once... (i don't use trimmers....lol... i'm an "ish" kinda gal...)

paid 60.00... will sell for 10.00...

stamps, stamps and more stamps... i will take pics and post them individually...

mini albums... including a donna downey canvas album.... soooo many... i will take pics!

shelving.. book cases... "billy" by Ikea....10.00 each! I have 6 of them to sell...

ok.. that's an idea of what's here...

i have a cricut and cartiges...(the original one)..

i have paper... oh boy do i have paper...

i have glimmer mist and lots and lots of other things...

so.. more pics to come.... let me know if you are interested in anything...

it's time to let it all go....

change is waiting!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-02-03T20:03:00.000-05:00

One day at a time: this is enough.
Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come.
Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.
~ Anonymous

lots going on...
lots to worry about...
i should have answers next week...
prayers appreciated...

2011-01-09T10:25:00.000-05:00

the BIG 40... and one little word...

well i did it... January 5th...i turned 40! it almost feels like a right of passage...lol...
it actually feels great to know that i made it to 40 after the year i've had...
so i am grateful...

Ali Edwards says that "one little word can make a big impact on your life"!
and as many of my scrappy friends have done, they have chosen a word that will define them for the year...so i thought about it...
i think about this past year and all of the challenges it has brought me.
coming close to dying from meningitis still bothers me.
throughout my recovery, i used to often think about "what if"...
what if i hadn't made it...
who would look after everything?
who would be Grace's voice?
who would teach Riley to be a man?
who would clean the toilet... because we all know no one in my house knows how to do that...
who would look after Rob when he falls apart?
who would pay the bills on time?

seriously...after i checked and increased my life insurance policy (and Rob's of course...lol), these are the things that i would think about all the time.
it consumed me..
it damaged me...

I PROBABLY DESERVED IT!
that's what i thought...i have done a number on my body with being overweight and diabetes, high blood pressure, crohn's, and shift work and all that comes with it...
i probably deserved it....wake up call, right?

recovery took a lot longer than i would have liked...

let's face it...2010 was not my best year....
but i have decided that like anything....it's time to get over it and get on with the good stuff...

Creatively....
in 2010, I travelled all over and met some amazing people...we all remember my trip to New Brunswick with melinda.. and i got to meet all my friends from LCOM...and I met Tim Holtz...and spent more time with Donna Downey in toronto and then with Vicki Boutin at Scrapfest and Kingston....
I was featured in Canadian Scrapbooker and schmoozed with Becky Fleck and even guest DT'd with Making Memories...
i also started writing a book...
i like this quote
"Above all else, it is about leaving a mark that I existed: I was here. I was hungry. I was defeated. I was happy. I was sad. I was in love. I was afraid. I was hopeful. I had an idea and I had a good purpose and that's why I made works of art."
Felix Gonzalez-Torres

Spiritually...
i finally listened and started going to church...i found God and instead of blaming him...i thanked him for the blessings i did have in my life...i joined a church home group (and seriously, i thought they were going to pee their pants when i asked them why i wasn't Jewish ...seeing as Jesus was...turns out it's a geography thing...LOL...)...clearly i am still learning...

Physically...
althought i started the year off feeling defeated, i worked hard and made it back to work months before anyone thought i would...i still face a few challenges but i think i am in a much better mind set to deal with them..

2010 also brought me close to my very special friends, and brought a friend back into my life that i had been missing for a long time...but i sucked it up, asked for forgiveness and really it's amazing what can happen if you just ask...life just feels better now.

so having said all that...and still knowing that this year is going to be hard...
i chose "RE" as my word...
just two letters!!...that you can put in front of a lot of words...for example...
Relook. Reduce. Repurpose. Recall. Reuse. Recycle. Restyle. Retell. Rearrange. Remember. Refocus. Regain. Reread. Review. Resale. Restructure. Rethink. Record. Relearn. Refresh. Recharge. Rejuvenate. Revive. Rejoice.Rekindle.
all these words mean something to me...i chose each of them as chapter titles for my book...

so here's to having a happy new year...
being 40...
and to understanding that even though things may not go exactly as planned this year...everything will be ok...and i'm good with that!

2011-01-03T12:02:00.001-05:00

more big surgery for Grace on Tuesday the 11th...

i'm pissed about it...

it would have been done sooner but CHEO shuts down their OR's in December...

pre-operative tests on the 6th..

surgery on the 11th...

and prayers begin now...

2010-12-09T18:36:00.000-05:00

It's on the shelves people!!!! page 80 and 81!!!

I was edited a little .. I think my answers may have been too long.. LOL... but it looks good and thank you so much for all the emails and atta girls!!!

Thank you Canadian Scrapbooker!!

There are thousands and thousands of seriously talented scrappers in Ontario that you could have chosen... so I am honoured to be a part of your 5 year anniversary special edition!

Here are a couple of the layouts featured!

thanks for checkin in!

2010-11-14T01:40:00.000-05:00

mish mosh....

so.. if you are a woman and you struggle... or you are challenged in any way, shape or form in your life...

if things look grey.. if things are rough...

just read this....

if it doesn't change the way you think or look at another person...read it again...

work is changing again... for the next 9 weeks, i am working with the training team and looking after some of new rookies before they officially start with the service...

my schedule is straight days (8-4) and before this opportunity fell on my lap, i was supposed to work all of xmas eve, xmas day and boxing day.... and look at me now.. weekend off... !!!!

here are a few of my fave pics over the past couple of weeks...

Here's my little ghost...

we went out with Molly and Karen....they were very cute!

This is the Oct 31st int he morning... out first snowfall of the year!!!!

And here we are at CHEO again....Gracie has sleep apnea, which is a side effect of that throat surgery she had this summer... and it's not good... here she is all hooked up and being tested in the sleep lab... i have no idea how she fell asleep with all those wires on her... she's a trooper!

oh and here's a funny video... girls night!!!!!!!!!!!! molly, karen , gracie and i had a great night last week...

the kids shopped ...drank slurpies....

and they danced for the crowds...

(ok I have a video of the girls dancing in the store... but it doesn't want to load ...grrrr)

ok... that's all i have for tonight...

(have to get to bed.. work comes early)...

thanks for checkin in...

d. xo

2010-11-02T14:57:00.000-04:00

who's a friend of pagemaps?

did anyone get their November 1st email yet?

you might see a sketch that looked liked this??

and maybe a little layout that looked like this???

becky fleck is awesome!!!!

thanks for the invitation to be a part of the pagemaps newsletter miss becky... even if you do like the turtles best in Nemo.. whatevs...LOL

2010-10-06T22:02:00.000-04:00

blog neglect...
blog neglect...
blog neglect...
so much going on...

i am done my re-training and passed all my evaluations...
i start on my new platoon monday....
but i have been asked .. today actually... if i wanted to work straight nights...
hmm....what to do...
i LOVE working nights... no sr. management around..
love sleeping during the day... it's sooooo quiet..
i just don't know...
thinking about it!
trying to train for my first 5km run on new years eve...
now that's hard work...
i am running outside...in the elements... actually truth be told i walk way more than i run...
LOL
it's pathetic really...but i'm trying...

my scrapbooking has almost come to a halt...

my tire pressure light keeps coming on in my truck... drives me bonkers...

i can't upload pics to my computer... grrrrr.. you have no idea the self portraits i have taken...LOL

spent last saturday in Kingston with my good friend Vicki Boutin and her mama... i love those two...
and of course Karen came too.. it was nice to have a lovely scrappin day day together... of course the nasal congestion kicked in ... and ... she go sick on the way home... not fun for her!!!

i tried white chili on the weekend for the first time.... mmmmm.... a new love of mine

i am currently supporting brilliant blue nail polish thanks to my little Gracie... it's umm.. pretty?!?

Hell's Kitchen...Glee...Grey's Anatomy...good tv!

yes...i started going to church this summer...i have attended every sunday (except for a couple) and have accepted God in my life...i'm learning how to pray... i'm learning to take care of my spiritual self... it's a completely different way of thinking for me, but it is easier to think that someone's got my back when the walls come crumbling down... it's just easier....

ok...i think that's enough babble...it's 10pm and i am wayyyyyyyyy past my bedtime!!
i'll check back in soon!
d, xo

2010-09-20T22:13:00.000-04:00

sorry for not updating in so long..
i started work...
i am completely ovewhelmed..
lots of changes coming...

i am trying to adjust to a real schedule...
i am trying to stay healthy and get enough rest..
and i am trying to keep it together in the process...

when the computer starts to agree with me, i'll have pics and stories..
for now, i just need sleep...and a snack.... LOL

thanks for checking in.. sorry i'm not that exciting...
d. xo

2010-09-10T01:41:00.000-04:00

first day of SK....

"i do it by my yelf..."... that's what miss thing says all the time...and that's what is sounds like.. LOL

so we walked up to the bus stop...

it was kinda crappy.. rainy... and cool... but nothing could dampen this kid's spirit..

seriously people.. she was getting on a bus... it's a big deal....

ok.. bus was only ohh.. 20 minutes late... but she finally did it...

she boarded the bus... "all by my yelf...."

and then i followed the bus to school... i mean really.. don't you?

so of course the bus drives right past the school and when the bus driver finally arrives, she is facing the wrong way... but look who i saw...

just waving away... as happy as anything...

so the new principal had to walk across the street and escort the little peanuts...

check out how happy she is .. going to school...

and of course, the bus was so late that they were taken in the class right away....

she had a fantastic day..

loves loves loves the school bus... and her "best friend" Rhys... the little red headed guy...

he is so cute.. i could just keep him...lol

so... full day for her...

new school for Ry...

and I am back to work...

los of very good changes... looking forward to some peace and calmness for a while...LOL

thanks for checkin in'

d. xo

2010-09-03T23:16:00.000-04:00

When I stand before God at the end of my life,

I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left,

and could say,

"I used everything you gave me".

Erma Bombeck

2010-08-30T06:20:00.001-04:00

so...
i thought i would blog a little note today...
it's been 440 days since my last day of work...440days... not that i was counting... not that i hadn't tried to get back sooner.. not that i haven't cried , begged and pleeded to go back...
but today is the day...
i only go in at 1030, yet at 530am...i was wide away...staring at the ceiling...wondering how things were going to go...
i'm nervous... but excited..
i'm happy and ready...

my only concern.. well i have 2 of them..
one.. is my on again, off again hearing.. which is a little important in my job..it is definitely more "on" than off...but it makes me a bit nervous..

and two...lately my memory is not that great... i'm having trouble remembering things...like life events...lol...for example, there was this olf friend of mine.. i haven't spoken to her since grace was about 1"ish" or so, maybe a year and a half old.. somewhere in there... and the other day i had a dream about her... but i couldn't remember why we hadn't communicated.. so i had to go leafing through old journals and stuff..and it's still not clear but it seems definitely fixable...i'm on it..lol...
anyway.. i might wanna pick up the Nintendo DS and get back playing "brain age"..LOL...

and today my "baby boy" is a senior in highschool....
he starts at a new school...one where his dad teaches and is the head of physed... so i am hoping for the best..it was his decision to leave his friends and to try the new school...and at some point, we just need to let our kids make those choices...he seems to feel good about it.. so i am on board with it...love you Ry xo

next monday, my "baby girl" is a senior too.. but only in kindergarten...LOL...
full day for her.. lots of changes this summer... so i am looking forward to seeing how her year goes as well...
i wuv you gracie xo

so it's a new season here in the saya/vanasse house... and i'm feeling good about it!

have a great new day..
d xo.

2010-08-24T00:43:00.000-04:00

a few layouts .. having fun!

tried the monchromatic embellies here...

art journal entries...

there's lots more.. i just haven't taken pics...

wish me luck... i got the call last week... today (tuesday) i am heading to headquarters and meeting with the upper class folks at work and deciding on my return...

they called .. yay!!!!!!!

so i am looking forward to that... not much longer now!

d xo

2010-08-23T14:08:00.003-04:00

5 days later....

so it has been a roller coaster ride these past few days...

but if you came to my house today, other than Gracie sounding a bit raspy and coughing a bit, all seems normal...

i mentioned before that gracie was having surgery on thursday...

she was having a procedure called pharyngoplasty.

the idea behind it was to elongate the palate and stop her from talking through her nose and to help her top jaw to grow properly.

she was born with a cleft palate but it didn't affect the face.. no lip or gum.. just the inside palate...

so it was repaired at a year old and the docs said things went well but the tissue wasn't that great...

so we knew maybe at some point that she would have to have another repair...

so off we go to the hospital on thursday... we had to be there for 930... they get us registered, get gracie dressed and then we wait for 1130....surgery time...

well we got there on time...

and then g got changed into her very fashionable attire... i told her to give me "fierce"... apparently THIS is firece...

love it!!!

so we waited and we waited and we waited... delays delays delays....

seriously 3 hours...

apparently grace was to be the second patient of the plastic surgeon's surgery list.... instead bad planning on the OR's part and the instruments that they used on the first patient of the morning were required for Gracie's surgery and it takes 2 hours to sterilize them...

so patient number three went in.. because different instruments were required for him.. and then at about just past 2pm we were called in...

they gave gracie some drugs to relax her (medazolam) and i went into the OR with her while they mixed the anesthesia with o2 in a mask and she fought and fought and finally fell asleep...

and then...

we waited...

free wi fi....lol... and of course Melinda was there... it's what she does... i don't think in a million lifetimes i could ever thank her for all she has done for me and my family... not in a million lifetimes...

so we waited in the waiting area...what seemed like forever... it was about 2 hours.. give or take a few minutes...

the doctor came out and explained that technically the surgery went well... she was being monitored for a bit in the recovery room and the nurse would come and get us to see her when they were ready..

Suzanne Hunt - Cleft Lip and Palate Service Nurse Coordinator and our friend for the past 5 years came to check on us and asked if we had seen gracie yet... we said no so she went to check on her...

she came back and explained that they had to do some intervention on grace because her airway was obstructed from the extreme swelling in her throat and her gigantic tonsils...her oxygen saturations were falling so they inserted a "trumpet" nasal tube in her left nostril and it goes down her throat so that O2 can get in and hopfully they don't have to intervene any further...

so we got in there and this is what we saw...

apparently she was not doing so well post op... but they had given her morphine and with that insertion of the nasal tube to keep passages open, she was on O2 and was nice and pink

we were in recovery for a long time...

we were there so long...we were the last ones there...

then gracie had about an hour or so where she hit a rough patch and at one point we had surgeons, ICU staff, anesthesiologists.. residents, fellows... you name it.. probably about a dozen medical people looking at grace and deciding if they were going to intubate her or what....

we were very worried...

the decision was to get her in the ICU and watch her for the night and decide if that was necessary...

so we got the info...

pediatric intensive care unit... and rob and i decided i would be the one to stay with her on thursday night...

tubes, monitors, iv's , oxygen....lots of noise... lots of people... a constant train of medical professionals looking at her.. it was rough... she refused to pee in her diaper and they were giving her a bolus of iv fluids so she wouldnt' dehydrate... so she pee'd every 30 minutes...we would have to detach her from her tubes and get her over to the bathroom... let's be honest it was a bit of a nightmare...

and if she didn't sleep.. i didn't sleep...

there were 2 things grace was not happy about...

first .. the mask strap.. she did not want the O2 mask strapped to her face... so she held it herself...

and the other... the least invasive but most important piece of information we needed to get from her.. was this...

oxygen sat monitor... it's a bandaid on her finger.. i mean really...

but she hated it !

so night number one wasn't without incident.. it was rough.. she was in pain.. they gave her morphine and she seemed to be very irritated by it... screaming .. crying... fever... pulling at her tubes... O2 sats dropping.. tachy (heart rate was too high)....so at about 6am... the plastics surgeon and her team as well as the anesthesiologist came up and tried to get her to cough and spit and they suctioned...they were getting prepped to intubate her... and she just started coughing and coughing... and she swallowed..

she swallowed..

her first real swallow..

and it's like the gates of heaven opened up...

the monitors stopped beeping...

the sats were leveling off ...

and she fell asleep...

the o2 mask had to be nearby, but not on her....

rob got there at about 830am or so.. i was beat and had not slept at all.. so i came home and went to sleep... he stayed with her..

the surgeon came in and was happy with the progress and he made arrangements to have gracie transfered out of the ICU and onto 5East.. the surgical floor...

so i came back around 130 or so with katelyn and she had a chance to see grace.. she was still in the ICU

melinda was there... and of course had brought a cooler of sandwhiches and veggies and whatever else you could thing of...cuz that's just what she does...so she stayed for a bit...

but only 30 minutes later they were packing her things up and moving miss grace upstairs..

grace rested most of the day on the chair or laying in her bed with her bear and little lamb and her purple blanket....

and more and more, the oxygen mask was pulled away .. always closeby...

lots of trips to pee... and she went from morphine to rectal tylenol... yum!..LOL

but it worked...

rob stayed overnight with grace on friday night... he said it wasn't too bad..

on saturday, i got there at 1030.. and this is what i saw...

nasal tubes were out... and she was alert and happy...

i went to the gift shop and over compensated..LOL... and bought a few things... LOL

so she was up...and playing with her puzzle..

then just after lunch they came and took her iv out...

and gracie was VERY happy about that!!!!.

she was a completely different kid from even 24 hours before...

we got her dressed and left the hospital around 4pm...

the only thing we brought with us.. a very stinky hand... ewww.. the smell of the tape on skin.. we couldn't wash it often enough...

overall... grace is doing very well... just shocking really...

i mean i don't even know why i am ever surprised, because she floors me every time...

but we are home.. she is eating "mush" for a few weeks... and sounds a little like a cross between kathleen turner and kristy ally...and maybe even a little marg simpson...LOL

thank you so much everyone for all your thoughts and continued prayers for gracie and the rest of us...

she is an unbelieveable kid.. and truly the strongest little person I know...

she will be just fine...

thanks for checkin in!

d xo

2010-08-19T07:53:00.000-04:00

today is the day..
we are just getting ready to leave..
we have to be at the hospital for 930...surgery is at 1130....
i've tried to get Gracie to understand but all she says is that if her mouth is broken, then she will be happy today when it is fixed...

i'm very nervous.. i wish it were me instead...
she really has no idea...
but here we go...

if you're reading this... could you maybe say a little prayer for us today....
thank you...

here we go....
d.xo

2010-08-18T06:33:00.001-04:00

GUEST DT!!!

i love a nice surprise....and in July, i received a lovely little email asking me to be a guest DT for

Making Memories...

first i was shocked... then i giggled...

i was given the option of which line I wanted.. and i really love the vintage findings line...

it's sweet and simple and i have almost all of it in the last few layouts i have done...

but i made a special project for their blog...

some mini canvases...some paint.. bits of paper, buttons, twine...ticket stubs...mini flowers...

so much fun!

i started the project with making memories double sided glitter stickers... i put them all ove rthe canvas and then painted with blue lagoon paint... then i peeled the stickers off to create a masking effect..

here are a few detailed shots...

thank you Jenny and Making Memories for the invitation...

it was an honour to work for you!

you can check out the Making Memories blog HERE!!!!

(i was informed that today was the reveal...lol...i hope it is.. LOL)

thanks for checking in everyone!

d xo

2010-08-16T10:22:00.000-04:00

MONDAY MADNESS!!!!

super cool....

i just won a prize on Kathy T's blog

i'm so excited...

thank you Kathy...i am very much looking forward to working with Photobook Canada!

ok.. i have to talk about my friend Lynne Forsythe!

she is a crafting mega genius!

seriously.. her work is unique and incredible and she has this great tutorial for grunge paper flowers!

i have tried them and i love them...

she dt's for Zutter, Simon Says Stamp and Show, Reminisce...gosh everyone really..LOL

serious superstar!

go check her out!

let's see what else...

oh! the rain!! my goodness, we have seen rain...

in the past two weeks, i have never seen it rain harder.. to the point where it started to flood the basement...

newsflash.. basement is full of PAPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh brother..

look at that water on my street!.. almost up to the bumper of the car across the street!

rob is pulling in...water half way up the driveway and lawn!

but the damage in the basement was minimal... and all my scrap stuff is safe... few!

here are a few pictures that make me giggle...

have i ever mentioned that grace has issues DRESSING her barbies..?

she prefers them naked.. and she likes when they play with the dinosaurs..

mmmhmmm....welcome to my world...LOL...

i don't know what she was doing here...but i think she was telling her barbies to get on the dinosaurs so they could go shopping at the store...

more fun pics..

a dress from last year...and a crazy smile...lol

mama with zits on her chin and clearly grace was more interested in something else... LOL

pretty sure this was the 50th shot before my child decided she wanted to be a part of the picture.. lol

ahh well she's smiling now... i have a feeling it's going to be a rough weekend!

surgery is scheduled for this thursday the 19th..

Grace will be in ICU for a couple of days to watch for throat swelling and O2 saturations..

we have seen the surgeon and done all pre-op testing ..

now we wait.. and hope for the best...

i wanted to say thank you to everyone...pretty sure i received close to 30 emails about gracie and how you are thinking of us and praying for all of us..

thank you, thank you, thank you... now that she is older, she understands more and the pain is going to take a long time to go away...so your kindness really means a lot...

and thanks again Joan for the beautiful handmade card...

ok.. i'll report in when i have news about Gracie and her surgery...

i have a post scheduled for wednesday...

i'm guest DT over at Making Memories... cool, huh?

and my project reveal is the 18th!

so check it out!!!

peace out, dudes!

D xo

2010-08-10T09:28:00.000-04:00

we got the call...

in may of this year, i met with 11 dr's, surgeons, therapists and other medical specialists in regards to grace's speech and palate issues...

when she was born, she had a cleft palate... and it was repaired at a year old....

the surgeon did tell us at the time that the tissue wasn't the best but the procedure went well..

well over the past few years, grace's bottom jaw continued to grow over her top jaw..so she has an underbite..also there is an area of her palate that is not closed because it's too short...

so essentially they told us that they wanted to take a chunk of her throat and attach that tissue to her palate to make it longer and fix any issues in there... and then part 2 is to break her top jaw in 2 places and add these little cranks to push her jaw out and over the bottom one...

so we have the "round table" discussion... i just "assume" that it would have been sooner rather than later because they said it was important...
i get a call from the surgeon's assistant, booking the consult with him at the end of august... i was like.. WHUUT!!!!
it's a month of recovery...i thought this was going to be done this summer...
turns out the doc only had 1 single surgery date in the summer and it was the 19th... but he already had all 3 cases and was booked...
so i'm not impressed... i will not do this during school and keep her out for a month... i'm going back to work... it's not good..
so i negotiate with the assistant and said.. how about this... give me a consult date BEFORE the 19th... and in case of any kind of cancellation...we might fit in... it's a long shot, but she agreed and i am ok with that...
i mean these are babies with full cleft lip and palate issues that need surgery.. we can wait.. but just in case...
right?

well...i get a call yesterday... wouldn't you know it.. one of the babies is sick and can't have surgery....Grace is in... !!!!! she is having surgery next thrusday.... the 19th...
she will be in ICU for a day or two because they have to watch for throat swelling and she has to learn to eat and then she should be able to come home...

we are heading to pre-op testing this morning and our consult with the orthodontist..
tomorrow is the consult with the surgeon that we had originally made...
so i am happy that this is happening now... but of course i'mher mom... and that in itself is enough to worry about it all...

keep my peanut in your prayers... we would both appreciate it!!!
xo

but they tell me that she will no longer sound the way she does...that she will probably sound more "normal" and more people would be able to understand her

2010-08-09T09:10:00.000-04:00

Dorrie on Worklife...

well it's just another monday... sitting and waiting for the darn phone to ring because work has yet to call me with a return date... all those overpaid high "brass" people have decided that vacation is the entire summer... i have been told that I shoud be back for the 16th.. that's 7 days... but no meeting yet and it looks like i'll be on my fanny till the end of the month... whatevs!!! i've decided to stop guessing... because we all know.. dorrie is no mindreader.. (like the way i talk about myself in the 3rd person...)...lol...

Dorrie on Homelife...

well the nanny is all moved in... she has been here a week...things are going well... it's so nice to pee with the door closed for the "entire" time... grace has someone to talk to while i'm "busy" .. see what i'm saying... a little time without a little cling-on attached to my leg... why did we not think of this sooner?? she can never leave...that's it...

Dorrie on Scraplife...

so this weekend was awesome...i didn't sleep for 2 days, did 8 projects and seriously even i like them...i have been off of work for almost 15 months and other than a couple of short term DT spots when i "had" to do stuff, this has been my most productive time... i've signed up for classes, found new challenge blogs and am bursting at the seams to get stuff done... ideas are everywhere... housework will have to wait a few days... LOL...and i hope the kids like pb and j sandwhiches.. cuz unless they make dinner themselves, that's what i have time for.. lol... mother of the year award.. i know i know.. thank you very much!

Dorrie on Churchlife..

so, if you know me at all, i really try to just say things the way they are...that's just how i roll... sometimes i'm not very dainty in the wording.. but it's my blog.. so pppfffftttt! anyway.. i went to catholic school when i was growing up, because dad said it was the better school...no real great belief in god..and if there was one, then screw him.. where the h-e(double hockey sticks) has he been? i mean seriously people... the other thing to know is i journal... a lot... and after my "brush with death" i decided to go back and read some of my old journals... and i have been angry...angry about all the crap i have had to deal with in the past 5 years...i was just really pissed off...if i had died back in november, people would have read this stuff....and well...i needed to find peace and inner calm...or i was never going back to work...so i joined my bff to her "church" .. it is not roman catholic... oh no no no....only men in power.. abstenance...preaching about how to be faithful to your husbands and wives and then they are all over the news in trouble those priests... it not real life.. it's not proper for a man to abstain.. that's not what they are put on earth for... anyway... it's not catholic...

Sequoia is not like any "church" i have ever been to...it's different.. i feel loved there.. the people i have met along the way are very very special people... rob has even joined me...and gracie too... i love it!

i have to tell you, last night i went to my first homegroup meeting... about 8 couples got together and we had dinner and chatted and prayed a bit (i don't know how to pray yet.. but i'm trying)...and it felt like a giant group hug the whole night... so i'm learning...

Dorrie on Weightloss...

thanks to my highschool friend, we get together once a week, get our butts weighed and have decided to go through this process together... i am 2.5 weeks into our new program and i lost 5 lbs the first week.. 1 the second week... and i feel good about it... i just need to get my jane fonda outfit on and get moving... LOL... can you imagine.. me and jane fonda? oh my... i must say though that i can now wear my "pre maternity" work pants... i am THRILLED!!!!! and they are not tight... that's 4 sizes smaller than the ones i was wearing last june! 4 sizes!!!!! ok.. i just have to drink the water.. not getting the water is is slowing things down... but i'm working on that too!!!

ok that's my miscellaneous monday... have an amazing week!

thanks for checking in..

oh and self portrait.. just for you!

niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice! lol

d xo

2010-08-08T13:25:00.001-04:00

Big Idea Festival....
it's a class at Big Picture Scrapbooking....39 projects...13 days... amazing talent.. you wanna sign up..
oh and it's FREEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have been scrappin like crazy.. i am on a roll.. this is going to be just what i need to keep me going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the other thing i wanted to mention is that there are so many scrapping online communities all over the country...you can go from one to the other and find all the same people... and then you find one that is just quaint and cute and the ladies in there are so sweet...
LCOM is a favorite...i *heart* Tanya... and i made some very good friends there...

Scrapshotz is where i was originally introduced to online communites in 2006 (i think)...many of the ladies i have come to meet over the years, i first met them online there... it's a good size community and Sandy is a super sweetheart, a medic, and she has a fantastic store...

and another one that i am fond of is Scrap~Tures ...Denise owns scrap~tures and it is an awesome little community of ladies... very supportive of each other...and just "nice" people... i had sort of popped in and out of there once in a while, but have kind of enjoyed the small tight knit feel of that group and have been popping in more often!!!

i don't have a lot of time for forums and socializing online.. but these three places are definitely worth checking out!!!!
go see!

d xo

2010-08-06T18:08:00.000-04:00

hey folks...
it's been a while..
been super busy!!!
nanny moved in...
clean sweeping..
and scrappin...
i haven't posted about anything "scrapworthy" in quite a while... but i have news...

i was asked by Making Memories to be one of their guest DT in August...they sent me some awesome Vintage Findings products and asked for one assignment... but of course, I couldn't decide what to do, so I did 3.. and they chose they one they want to feature.. it will be on their blog/website on Aug 18/10....
so that's my first manufacturing gig... very cool... awesome stuff.. I had fun with it!
here are the two projects they decided not to feature...

a little shadowbox...

This took about 10 minutes to do.

I had an old dollar store shadow box that I painted with Making Memories Lemon paint around the edges and simple gesso on the inside. It only took a couple of minutes to dry.
As that was drying, I found an old chipboard letter "d" and traced it on on the Vintage Findings PP. I then cut it out and glued it to the front of the chipboard piece and sanded the edges.
Martha Stewart's mini butterfly punch came in handy. I just punched random pieces of the Vintage Findings patterned paper.
I placed popdots behind the "d", about 4 deep to give it good depth, and put my letter where I wanted it.
I ran the Vintage Findings cool trim in the background and wrapped it around the top of the letter, then glued the itty bitty butterflies to the string, making it look like a banner.
Using the word fetti, I added a few words and kept the overall look very clean and simple.

the next project i did was this layout...

i found these pics of me and my very dear friend, Gwyn.... I had to do it... they were calling my name...

The base is a plain piece of Bazzil cardstock.

I very randomly brushed making Memories Manila paint on the background, sprayed Old Lace Glimmer Mist over it then heat set it.
I tore a piece of Vintage Findings PP about 2 inches wide and scrunched it up a bit and inked the edges with Wild Honey Distress Ink.
I stapled down the Prima lace trim.
Then came the stitching. I'm a firm believer that with practice comes more required practice. Let's just say the stitching is not perfect.. and that's ok!
I added a title with some old Thickers I found in my stash, placed my pictures down and embellished with all kinds of Vintage Findings ephemera, epoxy foil alphas, cool trims, tiny alphas and buttons.

so kinda cool, eh?

and then my 2nd piece of exciting news...
still boggles my mind... I have no idea how this happened... well I kinda have an idea.. but she will rename nameless.. (Sue!)
i received an email from Canadian Scrapbooker a couple of months ago.... it was long and as i read it, i was sure it wasn't for me.. but it had my name and my email address...
i asked rob to read it..

turns out they want to feature me in the Winter Edition in their Passport to Creativity feature....
i was like whuuut?
ok...
i have to do 5 layouts... they sent me some product for one of them.. it's GORGEOUS!!!!....
they want pics of me... grumble grumble...
and I had to answer this 18 question questionnaire...

everything is due tomorrow... and I should go and do those layouts now.. LOL

anyway.. i thought it was pretty cool and i am super excited about it!
I can't share any of the goodies, but I have been slaving away in my basement...
me and my small flood...
sheesh...

ok... work to do...
thanks for checking in..
d xo

2010-08-01T13:31:00.002-04:00

"To be is to do"- Socrates

"To do is to be"- Sartre

"Do Be Do Be Do"- Sinatra

feeling silly this morning....lol

2010-07-26T12:25:00.000-04:00

crazyness... pure crazyness....

fave facebook quote of the week...

"my background and circumstances may have influenced who i am,

however i am responsible for who i become."

i have no idea who said it.. but i like it...

fave gracie quote of the week...

(keeping in mind grace was not allowed to eat this weekend because she was prepping for some tests and biopsies today)

"mammy.. i nee macamoni.. wots and wots for me be stwonger.."

i of course said she could have macaroni on monday .. and she said..

"no mama.. i nee yit white now...my bones hurt..wook at my bones mammy!!"

a little dramatic maybe?..lol

she really is funny... and very logical...in her own mind...lol

fave quote from church from this sunday...

Eccleslastes 4:9-12

"two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed..if one person falls, the other can reach out and help, but someone who falls alone is in real trouble."

it's the simple things sometimes that just stop me in my tracts and think...

did i help anyone out today?

did i help anyone succeed today?

was i really there for anyone today?

food for thought...

fave quote from a baptism this sunday...

phyllis, a friend of melinda's was getting baptised...she has a fear of water...

and before she was dunked under the water by 2 pastors, she grabed her nose and squeeked out...

"let's try not to drown me, ok?"

the pastor replied

"don't worry phylis, jesus is with you"...

we all giggled.. and yes she survived...lol

fave quote by the doctor this morning...

"everything looks fantastic"...

Dr Mack...

gracie is going to be ok.

we are over the moon thrilled today...

have a fantastic monday!!!

d.xo

2010-07-20T08:59:00.001-04:00

and so it began...an adventure you wouldn't even find in a fiction novel...

here she came...

here she was ...

a little less than 6 weeks early...

we thought... perfection!... she is little.. but she is perfect!

he finally had a little sister... and rob and i had a daughter...

it's what we dreamed of...

i can honestly say that these past 5 years have been the most difficult in my life..

the long stays in CHEO hospital...

lugging around oxygen tanks and feeding machines..

the surgeries...

the unknown...

bad news after bad news from our doctors...

the sadness...

it all led us to today...

to the most precious gift anyone could have given me...

would i have chosen this path 5 years ago? honestly.. no...

but would i ever get off this path now...absolutely not!

this child has been a gift that has taught me so many lessons in life..

as frustrating as it can be..

as hard as it will continue to be..

SHE is my rock..

SHE is the real fighter...

SHE is a little spitfire..

SHE is the reason...

she is the reason we insist on table manners...lol

at 5 years old....

you have climed mountains...

beat the odds....

you love macamoni...(macarroni)

you have a thing for naked barbies...

you LOVE getting your nails painted...

nothing makes you happier than being outside or being with your friends...

your love for shopping makes me happy...

you call your dresses "my dancing"

you have competed in your first swim meet..

you danced your first recital...

you finished JK in a mainstream class..

you are the loudest and noisyest deaf kid on the planet...

your love for your brother, riley, is unmatched by any love in the world...

you are at the 50% on the growth chart...2.5 years ago, you weren't even on the chart...

you still get needles everyday...

you love max and moomy (max and ruby)

you are a drama queen...

you are beautiful...

you are very well loved by so many people...

i just can't believe that we are here..

we made it!

you.are.5.

happy birthday... my sweet sweet gracie!

love, mom xo

2010-07-19T07:40:00.003-04:00

5 years ago today....

well it's that time of the week again...

and although last week was very productive, busy, fun and even a little adventurous for us...

today, for me, is a big day....

5 years ago today... if you would have asked me if i had any predictions about what life was about to throw my way or where i would be in 5 years from then... i could not have ever imagined the way my life has turned out...i couldn't have made this story up...

5 years ago today ...i wasn't feeling well...

5 years ago today...i was brought to the hospital...

5 years ago today...i still had a little less than 6 weeks in my pregnancy, which to this point had been going fine...

5 years ago today.. i wasn't ready...

5 years ago today...i was more scared than i have ever been in my whole life...

5 years ago today... the biggest changes in my life were about to happen...

5 years ago today... i had no idea...

i simply had no idea...

5 years ago today... was the eve of the birth of a very special little girl...

what were you doing 5 years ago today?

d xo

2010-07-17T07:38:00.002-04:00

how cool is this....

this was the old look for our room..

brown walls.. ugly parkay flooring...

we are moving into this room to give our nanny the master with ensuite...

but here it is.. blech!

and then we painted the walls a very clean/crisp colour...

i really love it now...

but that FLOOR....OMG... we have been looking at replacing it.. but time line and budget right now have put the breaks on a few things, that being one of them...

spoke to Rosa who told me about melomine Para paint at Randall's...

thought we would try it out.. see how we liked it...

and check this out...

see where we're going with this.. lol???

ok .. in real life it looks amazing... love that you can see the lines from the parkay underneath, but the paint is amazing .. and durable...it's awesome...

wait till you see it with the furniture in in and all dolled up...

pics to follow..

i think we're going to paint all the room's floors upstairs.. and we can do them any colour..

so the ideas are just flowing!!!!!

i love when a plan comes together...

well really the process is as follows..

i get the ideas..

i tell rob what "we" should do...

and then he does it... lol

that works for me..LOL

have an awesome weekend.. we have lists of stuff to get done!

looks like rob will be working hard again...lol

d. xo

2010-07-12T10:11:00.001-04:00

know what today is????

it's ...

so here are a few things that i thought were pretty silly this week...

1. i went to a Christian home group dinner last night and brought DEVILLED eggs....

should I have done that?...lol...

i dunno.. but i appologized about 40 times for it... lol

2. a speech therapist with a speech impediment?...lol... seriously caught me off guard.. lol

and I am not mocking speech impediments.. i know many people with them...

but of ALLLLLL the jobs in the world, he chose THAT one.. cracked me up...

2. i saw my doctor this week....who asked me...

"vat do you vant to do vis your life....i know da first ting ve should do is getting you looking like supermodel.."

true story...told in my best interpretation of my doc and her slovakian accent...lol

4. gracie is the fart detective... she sniffs them out... points the finger and publically announces that you have farted...we are a classy bunch ....no seriously we are...

5. i wish.... i wish.... oh damn.. i'll just say it..

i wish in a perfect world... my daughter would leave me alone for 5 minutes to let me pee...just 5 minutes...

i can be by her side ALL DAY... but the second i step into the bathroom...

mommy i help you...

no thanks sweetheart.. i've got it under control...

i wipe you bum...

no thanks.. like i said.. got it all looked after...

no.. i help you...

*big sigh*

and then it gets serious.. GRACE... STEEP AWAY FROM THE TOILET PAPER!!!

then she cries...

then i ALMOST think i should let her help me...

but then it think.. no thank you...

i try to pee as much as i can when she is at daycare, so i don't have to go through that every time...lol

happy monday people!!!

d. xo

2010-07-11T13:31:00.000-04:00

i have no idea what i would do if i had to be at work right now... lol

seriously crazy...

here are some very serious pictures...

i mean , hey.. what is your kid wearing...?!?!?

mine has to wear her "dancings"...

and this little number for church this morning...

same story.. every morning... take my picture.. take my picture!!!

ok.. so we finally bought a car...

re-test drove the focus and the G6 (below) but then the sales manager made us a deal on this 2010 Mazda3 that we couldn't refuse...

so... zoom zoom zoom.... it's ours.. and we pick it up either monday or tuesday...

this "one car" business is not my favorite...i don't think i like sharing too much! lol

we also got this delivered this week...

we loooooooooove it.... my fave spot is in the corner...

we are going to add a nice carpet...change the decor a little... including those damn parkay floors... gosh.. i hate those..

and we are painting..

ok maybe rob has done more than me.. but it went from brown...like mocha brown.. to this ice blue...

this is our new bedroom... we are moving out of the master to have our nanny move in!

and to be honest, i hated it at first... but 3 coats later... it is going to be amazing with our new decor..

so we are very excited about that...

so much to do..

so little time..

rob and i are seriously like little old folks... our backs are sore... we break often...and what normally would have taken a day has now turned into a weekend job...lol...

but it's getting done... and i am going to love it...

i think we are in an upswing people... keep your fingers crossed!

d.xo

2010-07-08T20:24:00.000-04:00

my little fashionista...

i tell ya.. you'd think this kid was 15 years old...

"i no wike it"..."i wike at one"....

every morning...

and then we have a fashion show...and i have to take her picture...

so here are the last 2 days...

she likes to wear her "dancing" .. .means dresses...

what do you think????

think maybe she has a chance at being ~~in the giant tiger flyer as~~ a model? lol....

if anyone is hiring.. i know a little kid with a HUGE attitude... i have no idea where she gets that from...~~probably her father~~

very busy week.. i can't believe it's thursday night already...

grace is going to mom's this weekend...

originally it was because we were dying from the heat..

turns out.. $100.00 later, my A/C is fixed and we are no longer rotting from the inside out.. LMAO

it was hot..

it still is hot...

mid 40's all week and heading into the weekend...i think we might get some slight relief... but still very hot...

it takes your breath away when you step outside..

so we got our nanny to ~~sign her life away~~ agree to our contract yesterday and all is a go..

she officially moves in on August 1st!

this is katelyn and she has been working with Grace all year at her daycare...

we are thrilled to be adding to our family!

but we have lots of work to do...

we are getting the rooms ready and painted for her.. so i'll show you when it's all done..

but here is the before pic..

this is actually going to be our room... we are giving up the biggest master with ensuite ~~(%$^#&)~~..

i know, i know.. it's going to be ~~horrible~~ fine.. but i get to make this one pretty.. YAY!

i have just patched.. sanded.. washed walls..

now i am just about to start painting..

i am hoping to have it all done by the weekend...

in the meantime...rob is still searching for a car...

dealership confirmed that the caravan is in caravan heaven...where all ~~stupid~~ good caravans should be...

it indeed lost it's transmission...

so we have been looking all week... and it has come down to 2 cars right now...

this one...

2009 G6.. but the one he is looking at is 4 door...

this one...

2009 ford focus... but it's the sports model, leather seats, fully loaded... really nice

he just called and told me that he preferred the ride on this one..

so tomorrow he will go back and see what happens..

(but i have to tell you..he is a ~~horrible~~ great negotiator..LOL... flippin rookie...LOL)

and for some fun news...

i am ~~never~~ always shocked when companies ask me to guest DT for them..

i always ask them "why me?"....~~it's probably cuz i'm awesome~~....i figure it's because i've bugged them enough that they just want me off their backs.. LOL

i have refused some...

turned down a big manufacturing DT just recently because of time restraints..

but i was just asked to be a guest DT for the month of august for a HUGE company..

so I will fill you in when i ~~feel like it~~ can...

and...in other scrappy news....

i am being featured in a magazine... 2 page spread baby.!!!!!

i have no idea what i am going to say...

but the mag won't be out until the winter.. so .. very cool...

i am very shocked/honoured/inspired..

i'll let you all in when i can!

oh and if you have nothing else to do, or just want to escape the heat... go and see this movie..

OMG...

pee your pants funny...

no seriously.. super funny!!!! loved it...

and then gracie and i met up with a sweet friend that i haven't seen since highschool...

holly brought her niece, nephew and brother in law with us to see this one...

it was EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!! 3D was hard for grace... but the movie was funny...

ok.. that's all... off to put G to bed and get my painting clothes on!!!

have an awesome weekend!!!!!!!!!

d.xo

2010-07-05T18:33:00.000-04:00

just roaming around today .. bloghopping...
and look what i found at The Story Matters
giggle...:)

2010-07-05T07:57:00.001-04:00

know what happens when....

i have a free saturday??

i spend it with people i love with all my heart...

know what happens when.....

you don't reapply spf 50 on that same saturday?

uh-huh....

know what happens when...

you cross your eyes and the wind changes direction?

i knew my daddy was right....lol!

know what happens when....

you buy the campfire marshmallows instead of the regular ones???

you look like that... lol!!!!!!!!!

know what happens when....

you've had too many of the campfire marshmallows?

you start to go a little crazy.....!!!!!

know what ahppens when...

you don't listen to your mommy and keep your hat on???

you are miserable and get heat stroke...*sigh*

know what happens when...

your teenager turns 16?

mmmmhhmmmmmm....gulp!

and do you know what happens when...

all you wish for is one "uneventful" day.. where all can go right ..

no worries.. everyone is happy...??

(see that trail of fluid?)

(see that hood up and puddle of red fluid under the car?)

(see this guy sitting on the side of the road.. ??)

well just sayin.. it's not always about getting what you wish for... LOL

d. xo

2010-07-03T07:49:00.001-04:00

Happy 143rd Birthday Canada!!!

Here is the sign for "CANADA"!

we had a really great day on july 1st.. for the most part the weather cooperated...

i didn't have my usual partner in crime, melinda, around this year...

she throws the best july 1st parties... but she decided to go camping this year!

anyway.. we spent the better part of the day in barrhaven.. lots of things to do for the kiddies ...

like..

face painting....

and jumping...

and playing games...

visiting with new friends...

visiting with old friends...

singing oh canada!

and just being happy...

and then we headed downtown....it's been a long time since i have been on parliament hill for fireworks...

it's a serious gong show down there...

you certainly can't drive... so we took the bus!!!

i got on a public transit bus... i have no idea when i did it last.. but it grosses me out....

but we had to find our way...

and.. it was packed... to the brim...

but we managed to get there... and as we head to confederation park... this is the view...

the rideau canal... lined with boats..

it splits ottawa in half...it's gorgeous!

then we walked through the jazz festival, which was free...

they were just setting up for a new act.. but it was packed there too..

lots of people..

afer we pulled out of that crowd...i get a lump in my throat...

i see them..

i see my people...

the treatment unit was all set up.. and it was my shift working..

so i had to go over..

and we saw maggie from dispatch...

and .. my fave ptl.. (paramedic team leader)..andy..

(i've always told him i was gonna write my name on the bottom of his shoe.. he belongs to me.. LOL)

he's awesome .. owns 2 potbelly pigs...ohhh the stories!!!

and this is the giant city bus sized treatment unit... if you were hurt or anything.. you just come to the bus and they fix you up right in there... or they call for transport to the hospital..

i miss my people..

anyway.. we just followed the crowd.. why?? well because we had no choice.. LOL

this is one of the streets downtown.. we just followed the crowd to parliament hill..

huge stage set up...

i swear there had to be 100 000 people down there...

it was insane.. i remembered why we didn't go there too often...

oh.. and make sure you don't have to go pee..

i almost had to beat some woman out of a stall... i thought grace was going to pee her pants but she just just butted right in front of us..

lineups did not apply... it was very yucky...

but there was lots of entertainment on the streets...

and of course.. you can't have entertainment and not have grace dance to the music..

then...we needed to eat..

and the 4000 hotdog and sausage vendors did not look appealing, so we went to tucker's marketplace.. it's just buffet.. all kinds of stuff..

grace ate really well..

and i may have had some of this... just sayin..

ohhh it was gooooood!

then we roamed back up towards the buses... it's was about 830.. the crowds were getting "dense-errrr"... in all sense of the word....lol...the teenagers were getting drunker...and our personal space was getting smaller...lol

so it was definitely time to call it a day...

grace made one last stop...as we walked by my colleagues one last time, gracie went over and asked this nice policeman if she could sit on his motorcyle...he was older cop... 30 years of service.. reminded me a lot of my dad...(but let's be real.. i am thrilled that he is retired now..)

so to this day, i say it was wonderful and awesome... and adventurous..

considering we had no plans when we woke up...

we are proud to be canadian... I am proud to be canadian...

it's pretty cool, eh?

happy birthday canada...

from far and wide, oh canada.. we stand on guard for thee...

d. xo

2010-06-30T08:41:00.001-04:00

so it's wednesday...
it's just another day to me...
but it's a happy day... the days are getting better... i am feeling a bit better... i am not feeling so angry all the time...
and we are making some big decisions and changes..

my scrap room...put the breaks on that project .. BECAUSE>>>> it's going to be my bedroom...
rob and i are moving into that room....BECAUSE>>>>someone else is moving into our master bedroom with the en suite...
we have decided to have a live in nanny... someone to be here for grace before and after school...and at the same time she is going to finish her degree...
so we are excited, so is she... and we thought she may need her own privacy and decided that it would be best if she moved into the big room with her own bathroom, rather than share with riley.. because good grief....that boy need a gps to find the laundry basket... lol
so some definitely changes...

so that means...less expenses for the day care (save a huge amount of money)...and in lieu of getting paid to be a nanny, she will live here rent free.. we don't pay her, and she gets to go to school... so she will just be part of the family... we ironed out a lot of details last night and we are hoping this is going to work out great...
huge relief!

we don't have to sell the house now..
another huge relief!
riley got his first job.. the call came yesterday and he will a part of the sports department at canadian tire... he is so excited.. as am i... he is going to make his own money... and spend his own money... and hopefully save some of his own money...
more financial relief! ...lol...that kid can spend money like nobody's business.. now when he has earned it himself, it's a different story! lol

gracie is at day camp now.. loves it...
on a medical front we are working on a few things with her...
we saw the gastrointerologist yesterday...the same one that looked after riley....amazing doctor.. love him...
and basically children with genetic issues are hard to diagnose...
her blood work looks good but there are some slight abnormalities...
so i have to collect the poop... my absolutely fave job on the planet... hand it in... they are going to check for parasites... the whole idea gives me the eeebbie jeebies...but they have to make sure that's not what is causing her sudden bouts of diarrhea and abdo pain...
i was diagnosed with crohn's during a very difficult health crisis when i was 19....riley was 13...and i could tell something was wrong... and gracie is only going to be 5 but there are times when i worry....things aren't normal...
so we wait for the poop samples to come back...
if they are negative.. they are going in for a scope... upper and lower....
if nothing is found.. and really that is what we are hoping for... then we are going to have to make some serious dietary changes.... the doc thinks that she may have trouble processing sugar in her body....so he said we would probably have to go the route of a "fructose" free diet... and see how she does...
i don't know much about it... but he said if it resorts to that.. it's a pain in the ass....
i might even pray about the whole thing... might try that out.. never prayed before, (i guess i shouldn't use curse words, right?)

then as far as her palate is concerned.. the plastic surgeon only has one o.r. date this summer .. august 19th...
but our consultation isn't until the 25th??? that means that gracie won't have her palate surgery this summer... that means that they are going to do it during the school year and i won't agree to that...
she would be out of school for a month...
umm.. how about no...
they they suggested we do it over christmas...
umm...how about no thank you ( i was polite then)...
so i am trying to get her consultation before the dr's one o.r. date.. in case there is a cancellation and maybe grace can get done then... and then she can start school with everyone else..
it pains me that she has to go through it all.. but just when we think she is doing well... something else starts to surface...
(it's funny... i am writing a chapter in my book about my relationships with medical professionals...
i work with them.. i have friends in the medical profession... i have practically lived a CHEO and have dealt with every kind of doctor in my life... just thought it was a coincidence... )

ok... bringing ry to get his police check done and dropping him off for his orientation at work...
have a million things to do and 2 rooms to paint... our sectional is in.. so i should go and pay for that and get it delivered...
it's busy..

oh.. and geez.. can't remember (cuz my memory sucks) if i talked about this on monday... but i went to the pt and ot on monday and i have been discharged from those two services... pt said my strength was "remarkable".. go figure... and that my right side, which was substantially weaker after the meningitis is now is completely back up to par... and ot said that we are done our sessions.. my brain age has improved by 30 years since i started...
so now i just stay with my therapist...she wants to make sure i'm in good "headspace"...so we will get through the summer... talking about stuff... getting organized at home... loosing more weight... and then return is september...
i have been off work over a year... june 17 was a year.... it has been the dumbest and craziest and hardest year ....ok now i'm babbling... but i have learned A LOT... about people... about myself (if only i could remember it all.. lol)... and i spent some time focusing on me... ok more babbling... lol...

ok ok .. going for real now..
thanks for checking in..
d xo

2010-06-28T10:31:00.000-04:00

one. i went to church on sunday.. rob and gracie came too.

it wasn't so bad..

i mean if every second word wasn't jesus, i think it would have been more fun..

but the community and togetherness...you could FEEL it...

two. i'm eating pretzels. they are salty. they are crunchy. they are melinda's.

she forgot them here yesterday.

i should go buy her a new bag.

three. i went from this

to this

and after about 24 mins. i had this...

and then for the first time ever... i did this!

and this ... makes me happy! gracie loved it!

four. these are some of the funniest little people i have ever met...

five. i have got to stop eating these pretzels...

someone take them away from me!

six. i have a spray bottle of citrus and light scented febreze sitting on my desk beside me.

i feel the urge to go and spray the house down...

......

ok i just sprayed the couch... and the chair and the carpet...

seven. i scrapped and i can share... i just have to take a picture!

eight. my fingers and all other parts are crossed for my friend melinda...

nine. i have just been discharged from OT and PT... this is great news... one more dr to get rid of that i see twice a week and then i should be signed back to work....but not until september they tell me!

ten. i think there is hope for me yet...

i really really think there is hope...

have a happy , random monday...

d.xo

2010-06-27T18:30:00.000-04:00

i love this site... today i decided to play along...

1.If you had 5000.00 to spend on plastic surgery what would you have done?
i would have all the fat sucked out of my face and belly...just turn on the hoover and get er' done doc!

2. Do you watch Soap operas and if so what is your favorite and why?
well.. ummmm... i have watched young and the restless... and it really only began seriously since i have been off of work... which has been about a year... i mean seriously who watches this stuff for real??

3. Favorite clothing brand?
today??? i am liking old navy and anthropology...

4. An afternoon shopping spree at your favorite store or maid service for a year?
umm... i would chose the maid service... then i can blame someone else when i see cobwebs!!!! lol

5. Would you ever vajazzle?
uhhh... what the hell is vajazzle?!?... sounds kinda ummm...
OMG...
I just found this video....

holy shit....i could never do that... i have too much fat there... LMAO

6. Favorite Disney Princess?
princess grace of course!

7. Last movie that made you bawl your eyes out?
the blind side.. love it!

8. Have you ever broken any bones and if so what?
broke my right ankle.....in grade 12 on a school trip... at the CN tower actually.. mr vizentine.. italian club... oh joy....

ok you answer now!!!!
d.xo

2010-06-26T10:20:00.000-04:00

hey peeps..
i have been asked a scrapbooking question...
and i have no idea how to answer it...
i don't usually ask for people to leave comments... but this time, would you do me a favour??
would you take a look at my scrapbooking stuff.. art journal stuff...
i have tabs along the top of the blog.. and just use a word or two to tell me how you would describe it..
i seriously have no words..

i have to describe my "style"....

other than lazy...lol...(because i do a lot of what i do because i am a lazy scrapper)..LOL
thank you.. thank you... thank you...
love you..
d xo

2010-06-26T07:52:00.001-04:00

i was doing a little blog hopping.. and came across my friend sue sykes' blog... and she challenged people to do this ALL ABOUT ME fill in the blanks thing... so i though i would give it a go...

I AM ...a lot of things...bulletproof is not one of them....

I WANT...amazing hair.. doesn't everyone want amazing hair... you can be butt ugly but have amazing hair and you steal the show!!!

I HAVE ...that flap under my arm...it keeps waving long after i'm done...

I WISH... i was clairvoyant... then i would always "be in the loop"...guess work is not in my job description!

I HATE ...now i don't hate a lot of things...brocolli is one thing.. but the thing i hate the most in this world, are people who play pretend... that's all i have to say about that...oh.. and when people talk with their mouth full of food... seriously.. eesh!!!!

I MISS... having my dad around...my crotch rocket (motorcycle) and playing hockey... i used to be really good!

I HEAR... nothing... A.. because i am partially deaf and B..because it's 7am and everyone is still sleeping... OH WAIT.... ry is up.. i just heard him fart...so much class.. makes a mama proud, eh?

I WONDER... if sometimes god is playing a joke on me.. cuz if he is... you just wait till i see that man... POW!!!! right in the kisser!

I REGRET... nothing....i mean really ..i can hardly remember yesterday... LOL...so i am not sure what i should regret.. so why bother regretting anything.. wasted energy...wasted emotions... we do what we know.. and when we know better, we do better... (yep.. stole the line from OPRAH)..lol

I AM NOT... asian or indian.. sheesh people... just a regular white girl with a different last name.. twice someone asked me that yesterday... lol...

I DANCE... with my arms... because usually i am sitting on a chair...

I SING... and i make up most of the words... i have always said i should record a cd called.. "The Songs I Almost Know".. by dorrie saya...lol

I CRY... a lot these days...sometimes for nothing...but watching extreme home makeover... damn that show just drives me crazy.,... could they find more sadness please... good grief!...oh and i cry watching biggest loser too... like every episode!

I AM NOT ALWAYS ...wearing a bra...nope...if it's an "at home" day... the girls are loose and i don't answer the door.. because it's not pretty , people.. it's really , really not pretty!

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS...language... the words that my daughter can understand...she doesn't always listen.. but she gets it.. LOL... .and apparently i make the best sheppards pie ever!!!!

I WRITE ...everyday...all the time... i try and capture the times that seem unimportant, but really can change the course of an entire day... my mom left when i was young and my dad was a cop.. no pictures.. no documentation...i insist that my children will know... the good stuff and the hard stuff... and the very very funny stuff..there sure is a lot of that...

I CONFUSE ...myself.. a lot.. by overthinking... i am thankful sometimes that i don't sit on the john for hours at a time.. i hear men do a lot of thinking in there! i would overthink everything! lol

I NEED...a good swift kick in the ass right now... (just not too hard)...

I SHOULD... make sure those damn camera batteries are charged...today is going to be fun and don't want to miss out on those kodak moments!

I START ...over ...sometimes we all just need to let go.. and start over...

I FINISH ...everything on my plate whether i am hungry or not... started using a smaller plate... but then i started piling it higher... but i do finish it.. no waste around here....

so that's me .. right now.. i just wrote the first thing i could think of.. no hesitating...
try it.. post here and show me what you wrote..

k.. i have a million things to do.. it's bday party day...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

d.xo

2010-06-25T10:46:00.001-04:00

school is out for summah!

yesterday gracie had her little "kinder" graduation at the daycare...

they are so cute...

ok so warning... these are probably the worst pictures ever taken at any event in the history of picture taking...

both cameras... battery lights flashing... it was dark.. then too light.. then everyones flashes going off...

not good.. i was really upset when i saw them... they are blurry and crappy and people walking in front of me.. sorry about that...

she came walking up with her class yelling "hi mommy" and waving to everyone...

(camera was on a funky setting, but this is the only pic i got.. :(

here is her little class on stage

the kids with the blue sashes are the ones moving from kinder years to grade 1...

and her we have the big certificate..

gracie was so proud of herself.. she laughed the whole time... LOL

gotta love those homemade paper hats... lol...

then the kids got rid of the graduation stuff and prepared for a little ho-down..lol..

they practiced this "pop and lock" song by miley cirus...line dance..

oh my... they all knew the steps.. they just all did them at different times.. the music was fast ... lol

i know.. crappy pics.. *sigh*... but how cute is this kid... seriously.. she had a blast!

after this song, the older kids did a talent show.. pretty sure the kinders were better.. lol... but they were all a riot!

then all the kids got together and sang the "waving flag" song...

the older kids were at the mic.. and they were awesome... and all the kinders waved their flags with all their might!!!!.. and sang the chorus of course!!!!

it was soooooooooooo awesome... so proud of them!

and then it goes back .ohhhhh ohhh oh.. singing away!!

here are some of the kinders... they were adorable..

sam didn't like it... or he farted.. i'm not sure which! lol

carlin was the loudest and most proud of all!

(and knew all the words.. LOL)

alykie is sooo beautiful...and hates the camera... lol

aashna...the tallest of them all... waved and waved that flag like her life depended on it!

cy stood perfectly still... like his military dad.. lol... didn't move an inch.. it was hysterical!

christopher didn't have a clue...no words, no flag waving... just stood there... lol...cracked me up..

and alasiah... so tiny .. but very mighty... she sang her heart out..

BUT WHO IS THE CUTEST OF THEM ALL????

crooked smile and everything.. priceless...

these are the ladies i trust my baby with ... they are like my family...

and then this is katelyn... she is the CISS worker assigned to gracie.. and she is fantastic.. we really love her like our own... it will be a happy/sad day when she leaves us!

and then of course, what would graduation be without our friends...

the boys were awesome.. and for sure melinda cheered the loudest for gracie.. got the whole crowd going...

we love you guys!!!!

it was fun afternoon... shared it with very special people.. and now school is over and summer camp begins..

but first..

we have a very special birthday party to get through.. and that's tomorrow..

here's hoping i get some better pictures!

have an amazing weekend.. and to all those well deserving teachers.. enjoy your time off... relax and thank you for all that you do!!!!

d.xo

2010-06-23T15:26:00.000-04:00

well... it's been an exciting afternoon in Ottawa and surrounding areas of the city...

the house started to rattle about 1:40ish this afternoon and then really started to shake..
had a few pics fall off the wall, a canvas.. and some of my scrapping things jumped to the ground...

we had an earthquake ... and the epicenter is not far from here.. ontario/quebec boarder...

you can read the story.. HERE!

made for an exciting afternoon!

hug everyone extra tight tonight!

d. xo

2010-06-22T08:46:00.000-04:00

got back last night from london, ontario...

another road trip for us...

headed up to see gracie's endocrinologist for her 6 month checkup!!!

that child has it made back there... a pink chair...lol.. dvd.. books, blankets, food, colouring stuff...and her puppy... what else could she need...

dr's said that she is doing amazingly well... she told us that usually patients with 18q- usually need a little higher dose of growth hormone...but grace is responding well to the regular dose all along..

here is what her needle looks like...

just a little poke 6 days a week...and it has changed her life...

normally at this age, dr said kids are growing about 2 inches a year... grace has grown 2.5 inches since december and gained 2.5 lbs... which is incredible...

so we are happy with that and will gladly keep making the trip to see the dr that looked after her when no one at CHEO in Endocrin would listen to us...

-----------------------------------------

my craft studio is now FINALLY a work in progress...

i sold both of the beds last week ...sold the bunk beds on usedottawa.com...

so cool.. had the beds sold in 20 minutes!

i had never used it before... but it was easy, free, and clearly it works!

mike and melinda took the other bed and came over to get it on saturday night...

melinda and i were in the kitchen and she tells me to come over to the door...

and look what we saw..

mike having a little chat with miss gracie...

he is so sweet to her... we love uncle mikey!!!

-------------------------------------------------

and what else is going on...

well when melinda was here, she loaned me this book...

the content is pretty heavy...

but it is a 40 day book... and i'm to read a chapter a day for 40 days..

i have never had a relationship with god... ever..

i don't even know if i have ever really believed...

it's been a huge deal for me...

and right now i am searching to fit in somewhere or to find a purpose for my life so i have decided to join melinda on sunday at her church with gracie and commit to reading the book every day...and we will see how it goes..

this is day 3.. and already i have a million and one questions...

and if i am totally honest about it... a little skeptical... but i am prepared to take the journey...

------------------------------------------------------

and on a scrappy front.. a few things to share..

crate paper had a DT call out for anyone who is interested..

they have cool stuff...i do like their products!

i have scrapping like crazy.. but .. i can't show you... but i will tell you when you can buy the magazine to see them in... teehee... (giggle)

otherwise i just finished creative bootcamp... if you haven't done that course, i would just read it for fun and write down the thought of the day and the journalling prompts... amazing...

i am still scrapping downstairs until my new room gets finished...

here is a sample of the new wall colour...

with white accents.. a window seat built in (hopefully) and fun and bright!

i can't wait..

have a great day everyone!

dorrie xo

2010-06-18T08:44:00.000-04:00

the end of the week....

here's grace's outfit of the day...

she asked me why she had to wear leggings under her skirt... and i said.. "because otherwise you show your hoochie off at school and that is not cool"...

she looked at me and said.. "i no show hoochie off right?"

lol

yesterday was stupid busy...

first of all it was garbage day...

i asked rob to take out this giant cardboard box...

and he does.. but doesn't break it up...

so recycle comes by.. and not only leaves it there... but the paper was everywhere on our street...

really gross...

so .. i called the city...

took about 30 mins and they came back and picked up the box and all the itty bitty pieces

of paper from everyone's garbage!

i had a meeting at grace's school about "labelling" her...

or "identifying" her...

i guess putting a label or calling her something specific makes sure that she gets the help she needs in school...so they just labelled her "deaf" for now.. nothing else.. we'll see what happens...

then it was the year end party at the school in the afternoon...

this catering company drove onto the property and served everyone hot dogs and hamburgers.. which were really good... the only thing i would say is that the staff could have been friendlier...

gracie having a little swig of apple juice...

this is her best buddy elizabeth- victoria...she is super sweet.. and they hold hands wherever they go...

and rhys, another little guy from gracie's class... she loves him... we hung out with them and had dinner with their family...

after dinner everyone came indoors and we had a magician...he was pretty lame... but the kids loved it...

got home and gracie was OUT!!!!! instantly fell asleep...

and i scrapped..

and i scrapped.. actually art journalled i guess.. but i have to get scrappin'...

i have a few projects i have to get finished!

no big plans for the weekend...just heading to london for gracie's 6 month check up with her endocrinologist... it's funny you know.. grace is getting taller than the kids in her class...i think she just might make normal height when she is full grown... fingers crossed...

lots to do.. have a great weekend!

d xo

2010-06-17T08:45:00.000-04:00

i giggled this morning...

i received this in my inbox from a friend of mine... thought is was cute... thanks G... i rarely get the title of "queen" of anything...LOL

and i had gracie make the draw this morning for my randomness post...

and here are the winners...

congrats girls... michelle you were drawn first.. so you get prize pack #!...

and Monica you get the Tim Holtz book!!!

if you can just send me your mailing address, I will look after that tomorrow morning....

i have tons to do today...so i will post more later...

(and i've been scrappin, so i'll post that later too!!!)

have a great day!!

D xo

2010-06-15T12:44:00.001-04:00

random ramblings...

it's tuesday... what is going on today???

it is gorgeous here today...

sun is shinning...

the house is pretty tidy....

ry is off writing his first exam...keep your fingers crossed...

gracie is wearing a new dress today...

how cute is that?

she didn't like at first (even though she chose it)... because she said it "didn't work"...lol.. meaning,, it didn't fluff out when she spins...LOL

let's see what else...

oh YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

i spent the weekend ( a few weekends ago) with donna downey... and my friend karen of course...

she really isn't that tall... she was wearing huge wedge shoes that were awesome...

i actually made an apron...

no seriously.. i sewed it ... it was in pieces.. so .. not the prefab ones and decorate.. we sewed, people!!!!!!

this is it.. partially done..

from pieces of canvas and muslin...

i still have to embroider a little, add the flowers, and attach the pocket...

here's an idea of what it will look like when its done...

uh huh.. yep.. all by myself... used the sewing machine on actual fabric.. go figure!

we also did a full album of canvas pages, iron ons (which i love) and lots of dripage!!!!

and a "simply irresistable" class...all with resist techniques..

very cool..

awesome time..

i would do more classes with her in a heartbeat!

(as a sidenote, she even remembered karen and i...from 2 years ago...very cool indeed!)

trying to think of what else has been going on...

oh..

went to gracie's year end party with her school..

they were over at carelton university watching a play, then headed over to brewer park... had a blast in the water...

this is gracie's little buddy, carlin... she is a little firecracker that one!

i just booked gracie's 5th bday party for june 26th in the afternoon...

bowling and dinner and cupcakes... should be fun!

what else.. what else..

oh yeah...

HE...turned 39 on sunday...

happy birthday rob... he's a swimsuit model in this pic.. lol...

this post is pretty random , eh?

here's a random picture...

4 generations...

grama, mother, me, gracie and ry... and my brother and my neice...taken may 26th...

oh.. and i can't tell yet.. but i received more happy mail...

from a magazine this time...

so i will let you all in on the secret when i can!!!!

oh total random story.... i was sitting at a stop sign the other day.. rob in the passenger seat, the kids in the back,, a motorcyclist crossed right in front of us and a van pulled out in front of him.... he didn't have a chance..

i screetched a little (ok .. a lot!), jumped out of the car, jumped back in to put it in park, ran to the back, grabbed my jacket and my paramedic bag.. and ran.. right through traffic the whole time yelling at rob to call 911... thought he was dead...

but miraculously, he was not.. back and neck injuries, and lots of road rash...but he was dressed right, which totally saved his life.. 22 years old.. bought the motorcycle the day before...definitely could have been a different outcome...

hmm... i think i want to do something else here ..

how about...

i am cleaning my scrap space... and i happen to throw together 2 RAKs...

so to qualify...

leave me a comment... and tell me something RANDOM!..

i'll draw a name tomorrow night.. whether there are 2 comments, or 20..

you wanna know what you'll get... ?!?!?!?

well the first winner ....

a full package of prima collage sheets... super gorgeous.. some prima pebbles...pkg of maya road mixed scallop mini triangle banner chipboard set, pkg of maya road kraft envelopes, and 3 sheets of vintage map stickers...

and the second winner...

yeah so.. if you don't have this book, you need it.. love it...

i forgot it here when i went to my tim holtz weekend, so i bought another one so he could sign it..

ok... that's all my randomness for today!

dorrie xo

oh and by the way everyone... i just really really want to say thank you for the comments you all left a few days ago...it is amazing to me that people are even interested in my blog, let alone read it on purpose..LOL... your sincerity was felt.. life gets tough for all of us at some time or another, and i just wanted to keep it real... so thank you all...whether i really know you or not...hugs xo

2010-06-13T13:54:00.001-04:00

i *heart* melody ross...
she is a brave brave woman..

she had a quote on her facebook one day..i think on the 6th of june..(that's what i'm thinking anyway...)

..."COURAGE is reclaiming your life after devastating events rob you of your confidence and self-esteem. It is facing tomorrow with a firm resolve to reach deep within yourself to find another strength, another talent. ... It is taking yourself to another level of your own existence where you are once again whole, complete, confident."
— Catherine Britton

and then my friend ed shepley had this quote the same day...

"Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work. "
- William Arthur Ward

so...
it's time to get over the "what if's"...
it's time to let things go...
it's time to forgive and forget...
it's time to focus...
it's time to have courage...
it's time to find stregth...

it's time for me to be brave...

Dorrie

2010-06-10T11:17:00.002-04:00

ok...i often read stephanie howell's blog...
i think she's great...
she's a REAL scrapbooker, and admits to having issues and trials and tribulations like real people do...
read her blog post today...
it's about being real..
it's about how people try and paint pretty pictures because as scrapbookers, it's just what we think we should do...

i think that's crap... just total crap...

katie read the same post and posted her realities on her blog as well... it's a "real" read...

"The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself." author unknown...

i have been criticized lately for scrapping the truth...

this layout for example cause a rukus during my DT term....the problem is that i found out by accident how innapropriate it was to scrap how i felt about these 3 kids...
innapropriate and unacceptable... imagine... i am not allowed to create art about the truth...
pissed me off at first.. but that was very short lived...
if people were too cowardly to say anything to me about it... then that's their problem... i have no time for that...
and the reaction to that page is what has caused me to not share anything personal in my art journals...i have been working hard in them... used all the daily prompts in Elsie's class to really see myself... and i have loved the journey and am very proud of myself for being real in it... but i can't share it... the uproar...LOL...i can just imagine...

but i can say that truthfully...
1....my weight is a huge problem... fat makes me sick...literally sick and i have tried and tried and i am shutting down...

2... i am not as strong as people think i am...i am weak...i am very weak on the inside...

3...someone said something to me not too long ago and it has me doubting myself and my self esteem quite a bit...

4...i have recently declined a high profile manufacturer DT position because i was afraid to fail them and that my work is not good enough...

5...i go to therapy...i have gone to therapy on and off for 10 years...

6...i have started to become very impatient with my kids...i hate being home... i hate being home...i hate it..

7...my son is failing math and chemistry, has given up on himself and has been treating me like crap...my insides shake at the thought of him shutting down...

8...my daughter's condition is frustrating...i don't understand why i am the one who had to deal with this along with everything else in the past 5 years... it never ends... surgery is imminent.. it will be trying and difficult for all of us...

9...i think the house will be put up for sale... for many reasons...and it's not to upgrade... it's to downsize...

10...since the meningitis, i have not really been myself....my brain was injured... the doctor called it traumatic...and unfortunately i have trouble remembering everything....i have to write everything down...i need my calendar to keep me on track...and it's one of the main reasons i am not back at work...and it scares me...

11...i stay at home all day and the house usually looks the same at night as it did when rob left in the morning...but the past few days i have been making some changes to that... but only because i have to....

12...i have a potty mouth...and some days .. it's real ^!#$^& bad!

13...my family is completely disfunctional...COMPLETELY!

and there are many more thuths... and the thing is.. i have journalled about them all...
life is far from perfect...
and i have said before that sometimes when i am in that dark tunnell and i see a light ahead... i fully expect it to be a train coming my way to run me over...

that's why yesterday's post meant a lot to me...
putting my energy into things that mean a lot to me...
not letting anyone blow my light out..
the words are strong... but i need to feel worthy... and i am trying.. i am really really trying...

what are your thruths?

Dorrie

2010-06-09T10:26:00.000-04:00

i received this in my inbox this morning... and it got me thinking A LOT!

Dear Super-Smart Girl,

Never let anything steal your soul. Never let anything blow your light out.

Be willing to walk away from things that feel wrong. Know that you have the ability to be a light in the darkness, and don't allow the darkness to dim YOU in any way.

Create the life that is in your heart to live. You can do this.

Choose to put your energy in places where you want to grow more of what there already is...and don't put any more energy in places that you have outgrown or that you want to be free from.

Life can be good and joyful and light-filled and wonderful.....you get to choose EVERY DAY where you put your energy....every single day.

Choose wisely, beautiful girl...and life will unfold in beautiful ways.
xoxo

(received from the Brave Girls Club)

sometimes, the exact right thing is said at the exact right time...
i have been struggling with a few things lately...big things..
but in the past few weeks, i have been away, and being with friends and meeting new ones... and i have some real heavy decisions to make coming up...
i even did an art journal page in the car, on the way to sudbury a few weekends ago...

but focusing on what's positive, instead of wondering "why me"...that has just got to be the answer...
it's got to be... right?

so.... positive things...

today ...it's about these people....my oldest and dearest friends....

vcki and gwyn...even after more than 20 years apart...when we get together, it's like we never left each others side in highschool...

Melinda...my sister...the friend that anyone would be blessed to have ...and who travelled all the way to nb with me to meet new friends.. like tanya!

and karen who picked up a water bottle as a mic and sang bad romance with me as loud as we could in the car on our way home from toronto..

i have other very special friends... some i have just met in person, some i can confide in, some i trust with anything... and definitely some that i don't see enough of.....but i feel loved for sure!!!!!...i am very very lucky!

2010-06-02T17:49:00.002-04:00

so many things coming to an end...
school... (i'm sure ry can't wait for this miserable semester to be done.. it has been the most difficult thing i have ever had to watch my son go through... it has almost broken me...*sigh*)

spring...this weather has been unbelieveable and i look forward to a gorgeous summer with my family...

my time off... i mean i don't have a return to work date yet.. and it's almost a blessing in diguise... this has been a very challenging and difficult few weeks for us and i do look forward to getting back to work and thinking about something different for a change...

my DT over at LCOM...
i can hardly believe that my time is done over there... it's been 3 months... lots of interesting times.. good times..made some forever friends and even travelled all the way to nb for a crop... so happy i did!!!! i will miss my job but i will definitely be hanging around with the girls there.. they rock...
this weekend LCOM is celebrating their 2nd birthday.. they are having a blog hop and an online crop.... so you have to check it out...
my friend karen and i are heading to Stamping Bella on friday for our donna downey weekend... so i won't be participating in the crop or blog hop.. but i wish Tanya the very very very best and i will catch up with everyone on monday...

and sadly...the end has come for The Paper Passion...

after almost 2 years, my sweet friend Rosa has decided to close her doors and try a new creative venture...
she has always had amazing customer service, the best prices you could ever find anywhere.. and has amazing talent with her sewing machine ....i loved the little things that made The Paper Passion unique.. like her boutique.. with all of Rosa's handmade aprons, bags and other special treats...

so right now, Rosa is offering everything in the store at 35% off....which is amazing...
and this is day 2 of the sale and the stuff is flying off the shelves...
so get in there and see what goodies she has left for your stash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THERE IS STILL TONS OF AMAZING STUFF LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SO GET ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love ya girl... i wish you all the best in all that you do....
hey.... we'll even have time to scrap together now...
xox

my heart breaks when a life ends too soon.... my friend Kathy T lives in a small community in nb and some of the kids from her daughter's highschool were in a tragic accident...you can read about it here.
we are all thinking of you kathy and your girls and the complete and utter sadness you must all be feeling... hugs to everyone my friend... the end came too soon for these kids...just way too soon....

and what seems trivial after that... i am still working on my art journal class... which is my daily therapy... but it too is almost coming to an end....

and so is this post.. lol...
lots of things ending... i am hopeful for positive new beginnings and new opportunities that i have been offered and am considering...

tomorrow is just the end of today....
looking forward to tomorrow....

Mom 2.0: Defining A Movement

2010-05-28T13:54:00.000-04:00

i watched this... i cried... i watched it again and listened really hard...

i am a mom...

2010-05-28T08:38:00.000-04:00

this is how i feel today.....

so much going on...

working on my last DT reveal for LCOM...sad to see it end, but i have made the most wonderful friends and met some amazing , amazing people...love you guys...

eyes are clearing up...i had a pretty bad infection in them...had to wear these funky plastic glasses.. my eyes were super sensitive to light...

and other good news... had my colonoscopy on thursday...

got the "all clear"...

doc loves it when i lay there and say "cheeeeeeese".....she said it's the best she has seen my guts in years....so happy about that...

surgical consult for Gracie... she is very nasal when she speaks.. so the ENT did some tests on her the other day and they showed that when her palate was repaired, the tissues inside the repair did not fully close and the air comes out her nose when she speaks... so they want to fix that right away...so.. not REALLY looking forward to that... i love how she sounds..i know , selfish , eh?

Monday 9am for consult, and they want to do the surgery right away...

and...Crohn's testing for Gracie....

she was having some gut issues the last little while... we've cut out most dairy in her diet...and some testing shows that she may have some issues with gluten...so we see the GI specialist in June for that...

poor kid...

heading home this weekend...

not real sure why i still call sudbury home, but i do...

girls weekend with some old highschool friends.. and my longtime friend Gwyn...

tomorrow we are going for mani, pedi, massage... 4 hours at the spa... oh heaven!

and it's gram's 85th bday...so there is a surprise party for her..

one of these days we are going to have to stop with the surprises... no cardiac arrest allowed!

so on the road again ...whole family coming this time...

and then next weekend...

donna downey weekend in t.o. with my friend karen..

very much looking forward to that...

still working on my book.. i sort of had writers block for a bit.. but i secretly write almost every day...it's funny...and sad maybe.. but mostly funny...

i might share some excerpts...we'll see..

ok.. have to go pack... picking up ry at school and heading out of town..

have a great weekend!

2010-05-26T13:53:00.000-04:00

Current Weather Updated: Wednesday, May 26, 2010, 13:00 EDT - Ottawa Airport

A few clouds
33 C
Feels Like: 42 C
Wind: W 19km/h
Wind gusts: 28km/h
Sunrise: 5:20
Sunset: 20:38
Relative Humidity: 49%
Pressure: 101.18 kPa
Visibility: 24.0 km
Ceiling: unlimited

it is smokin hot....holy crap....
a/c is out...
i am melting.....